The holidays tend to bring up a lot around food- understandably so. Food is a big part of how we celebrate, show love, provide comfort and so on. This holiday season I noticed several intertwining topics come up with a bunch of my clients that I thought might be good to explore.
Part #1: Second Helpings v. Being Left Unsatisfied
Let’s start with the issues around second helpings. Somewhere along the way, second helpings seem to have become connected with gluttony or overeating. Client: “I wouldn’t dare get a second helping because that means I’m eating too much…” When I would ask what if it was possible that it just meant that you hadn’t put enough food on your plate to begin with, that was often just laughed off.
As it turns out, this fear of what people would think if you got a second helping, meant a lot of people may err on the side of putting plenty of food on their plate to start with to ensure they’re not left hungry. Good idea. If you’re not willing to allow yourself to get seconds, I would prefer you start with more than enough food on your plate so that you are at least getting enough nutrition!
Part #2 Clean the Plate v. Food Waste
Then, whether there was just a bite more left on their plate or way more than someone might want to feel satisfied from their meal, they feel a pressure to clean their plate to avoid food waste. So, we’re now ignoring our bodies cues of satiety in order to avoid wasting food? This is a tough one. I was raised in a “clean your plate” household so I know what it’s like to feel a pressure to eat every bite. However, as someone who now works hard to remain an intuitive eater, I’m not going to put one extra bite in my mouth once my body has given me the signals that I’m done/satisfied.
My Recs: CHALLENGE THE THOUGHTS
First of all, I recommend all of my clients carry this conversation into their therapy session for additional support. Second, I encourage them to start by figuring out which is the lesser of the two evils- would you rather leave food on your plate or go back for seconds.
- If going back for seconds just feels too awful, then work on challenging those negative thoughts around leaving food on your plate. Yes, I understand food waste is not great, but I’d rather you continue to practice listening to your body’s natural satiety cues and stop when you are satisfied than to continue eating simply to avoid wasting food. While you may be great at plating the exact amount of food your body will want at any given meal, a lot of us aren’t, and that needs to be ok. We need to practice being ok with leaving a bite (or 8 bites) on our plate if we happen to have put more food on our plates than what was required for us to be satisfied.
- On the other hand, if wasting food really goes against your beliefs, then challenge those thoughts that leave you worried about people judging you for getting seconds. To be honest, most people are more likely thinking about their own food/eating patterns/etc than they are yours. If you’re not sure how much you might need to eat in a meal to be satisfed, start with a smaller amount and assess how you feel after it is finished. Then give yourself unconditional permission to go and get more if you are still not satisfied after that first amount. Over time, you will get better at listening to your body’s cues and figuring out how much you might need to eat.
Nutrition is like an experiment. We are constantly learning new things about how our bodies respond to certain foods, how much food we need to feel satisfied (and how this can change) and so on. We’re going to make mistakes, and that’s ok! If you feel this is a piece that you struggle with, reach out and we can see if setting up an appointment can be helpful for you.